We are always in the process of becoming - changing and being changed by what we learn, our surroundings, our beliefs. Who we think we are evolves over time, and our identity may crumble and be reborn again and again. So what, you may be asking, does it mean to “become Nephilim”? 

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The Nephilim are described as being both divine and human, which is what we are, emanations of the divine inhabiting flesh! But it is easy to lose our connection with our own divinity at times, to get caught up with the mundane elements of life (it's a trap!). In my life there have been many times where I felt connected to spirit and free to embrace my own divinity. And other times where life dragged me down to the point that it felt like walking through mud. My connection to the divine seemed non-existent, like I was fighting just to exist. Usually those difficult times heralded needed change, and those changes normally required a lengthy katabasis, a dark night of the soul, to liberate myself and transcend limitations. Sometimes conflict or being stuck in a situation where it feels like there is no way out is the start of this process of becoming. It is difficult to embrace transformation when you are standing in a boiling cauldron but that is exactly what is needed.

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In this context, becoming Nephilim is about elevating yourself beyond ordinary human limitations. It is a significant shift in your state of being, Becoming starts at the point of unbecoming - jumping into the abyss to be undone and remade as something new, something ancient and primal, the self that you were meant to be.

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Helena Blavatsky, founder of the Theosophical Society and one of the 19th century’s most prominent esoteric philosophers, coined a term called Be-Ness, which we can explore as a vehicle for becoming. Be-ness is the underlying eternal principle that persists through both manifest and unmanifest states of the cosmos. It represents pure spirit and contains the potential for all manifestations. This is similar to the Kabbalistic Ein Sof, which is infinite or limitless, it is neither being nor non-being and represents the top of the tree of life, through which all manifestations emanate. Ein Sof, or Be-Ness, represents neither the starting point nor the end point in your journey of becoming, it is simultaneously both! This highlights something about the path itself, it is not linear, it is a circular or spiral path. 

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If you think of Be-ness as the source of all and nothing, you can begin to understand the potential within the void is the potential within you. What is required is a self-sacrifice, a leap of a faith into that unknown, swirling chaos. Letting go of identity, what society, or your parents, or your friends say you should be. You must go beyond labels. You are not a mother, a worker, a spouse, an American, a Christian or pagan. You are not heterosexual, homesexual, of a certain race or land. You are not rich, poor, educated, sick or well. What you are is beneath layers and layers of identity labels, social programming, behavioural patterns, and assumptions. The question I hear is always “yes but how do I peel away those layers? How do I reveal and nurture my true self?”. And my answer is usually less about the “how”, and more about what’s stopping you from jumping into the abyss. Fear is usually the answer, fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of loss (job, marriage, a life you have gotten too complacent with perhaps). Fear will restrain and paralyze you, it will lie and convince you that those labels, patterns and programming are keeping you safe. But what they really do is weigh you down, constrain you, and keep you disconnected from your true self.

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There are many paths to becoming and each of us must carve our own path, usually through thick brambles and misty forests. In the Becoming section, we relate some of the key themes from the Nephilim and Watcher mythos to the act of becoming - katabasis, sacrifice, crossing thresholds and sacred knowledge. We’ll expand this section in the coming months, and add more esoterica to the website in a new section - Subtle Fire.